This is of Me, Jake, Anthony, My parents, Jakes parents, My brothers & sister, Jakes brother, & My sister in laws, & all my neices & nephews.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Wordles
My Mom showed me how to do these & I thought they were pretty cool!
This is of Me, Jake, Anthony, My parents, Jakes parents, My brothers & sister, Jakes brother, & My sister in laws, & all my neices & nephews.
This is of Me, Jake, Anthony, My parents, Jakes parents, My brothers & sister, Jakes brother, & My sister in laws, & all my neices & nephews.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Smoking
I have been a smoker since I was 14. I quit for 9 months while I was pregnant & started back up again about 10 months ago. My mom & Dad don't have too much of a problem with it, they don't like it but they allow it.. As long as I go outside to smoke. I have always loved my cigarettes, I don't know what it is about them I have just always really enjoyed them. Which is why it was so hard for me not to start back up after Anthony was born. However, I have made a promise to Jake, my Mom & Dad that I will quit in September when school starts back up. This sounds ridiculous to everyone to wait until then. Why not just quit now? I think it would be allot easier to quit when I am a senior in school, & very busy. Right now it's summer & I'm home all day & outside. So I think it would be harder to quit now. I am not looking forward to this one bit, & am really hoping I can keep this promise. It's going to be very difficult but I guess it's just something I have to do.I have recently noticed allot of people giving me dirty looks when they see that I am smoking, especially older people. Allot of people that know me think it's scummy, or "not right" that I smoke because I have a kid now. But the way I look at it is, how is it harming him if I don't smoke around him? & I wash my hands after every cigarette so he doesn't have to smell it. I also have promised myself since I started back up that I would quit before Anthony got old enough to realize what it is. Hoping if mom & dad don't smoke, he won't want to either. I don't see the harm in it.
I think allot of the reason I enjoy smoking so much is just the 5 minute break I get to relax & be by myself. I love the quiet time & it kinda gives me an excuse to get away for a minute.
Anyway the whole point of posting this blog was because I don't understand why it's such a big deal that I smoke cigarettes when I have a kid, if I'm no wheres near him when I do...? Does anyone else think I'm being "immature" or a "bad parent" because of this??
Monday, June 16, 2008
About Me
My names Alexis & I'm 17 years young. I have the most amazing fiance & family a girl could ask for, also I have a 10 1/2 month old son, Anthony Daniel, who has literally saved my life. I decided to start this blog because today was my last day of school & I'm going to need something to keep myself sane while home all day taking care of the baby.
My fiance Jake, whom I've been with for 2 1/2 years is one of the best things that's happened to me. We met when I was 14 & a freshman & he was 17 & a senior. We started dating soon after we met & knew right away we were in love. Jake has helped me so much, & I could never show how thankful I am.
When me & Jake first started dating I was a wreck. I was failing every class in school & partied way too much. School was defiantly not my first priority. I was in a new school, with new friends & new drugs all around me... Fortunately I stuck to one one. I had lost almost every one of my friends from middle school & usually hung out with the older kids or my older brothers. As hard as it is for me to say this, my brothers had a big impact on my drug use. My brothers, especially Daniel who is 4 years older then me, has always been my biggest role model. I've always looked up to him & wanted to be just like him. I knew he smoked, so I did. I knew he did bad in school, so I did. Daniel has always been my best friend, and still to this day is. They are the ones who got me to start smoking, but once I started I didn't stop. I had just got out of a crappy relationship, it was good for awhile & then turned bad. I was in love. He was my first, & I swore he'd be my only. we were together a few months shy of a year but we were really in love. Then one night in September of 2005 he told me we couldn't be together, he liked one of my friends & it just couldn't work between us. I was devastated & took 20 Tylenol. The next thing I knew I was up in the middle of the night throwing up, & then I woke up in the morning pale as ever & sicker then a dog. I went to school & acted as if nothing happened. Fortunately my friend on the bus noticed I couldn't stay awake & I looked really ill. I told her that I had over dosed on Tylenol & I literally felt like I was dying. We went & told a teacher & immediately had an ambulance at school. I can remember one of the paramedics saying "you're such a beautiful girl, why?" I went to the hospital & was told I had liver damage. I was also told I had a chance of not making it. I stayed in Albany Medical Center for 5 days & got transferred to Ellis Hospital for 5 days. By some miracle I made it out alive & healthy. But after that, I smoked every day, sometimes more then once a day, and had made weed the biggest part of my life. That's all I cared about & nothing else. Then Jake came around in December of 2005. At first he didn't care that I smoked, because it was only with my brothers & he knew I wouldn't get in trouble or anything. But after going to my brothers every single weekend to smoke, instead of spending time with him, he got sick of it. I wasn't myself when I was high, & I got a kick out of arguing. After a few months Jake told me I had to choose, having the time of my life every weekend with my brothers while being stoned out of my mind for days strait at a time, or him. As sad as it is, I didn't know what I wanted. I was so used to partying all the time, & I loved it. & Jake was just my boyfriend, we had only been together a few months.. I didn't figure we would last anyway. I was so used to being screwed over, I figured he'd do the same. I tried quitting a few times but I loved it too much. Although people say you can't be addicted to marijuana, being an old user, I can honestly say I was an addict. If I didn't smoke for a day I felt depressed & tired, then I would smoke & I was happy as ever.
Finally, I don't know what happened, I guess Jake had convinced me he loved me & I was going down the wrong path. I decided to give up marijuana & be with him. I have now been sober for about 2 years & I don't miss it. I still didn't do good in school, & didn't care. Then in October of 2006 I found out I was pregnant. Immediately I got my grades up to mid-8Os's & Anthony was born in July of 2007. Anthony saved my life. School was a joke to me & I swore I didn't need it. When I found out I was pregnant with him I decided to step up & take responsibility. The first step was to get my grades up, so not only can I support & spoil him, but I can be a role model as well. Since then I've passed all my classes, & haven't gotten in trouble at all.
Anthony has made me mature & look at everything different. Although I had him young, & didn't give myself a chance to be a kid. I wouldn't change it for anything. He's the cutest little boy I've ever seen, & he's a great baby, not to mention a mama's boy! His smile never fails to brighten my day, no matter how bad it's been. & thanks to my mom, I've still been able to be a kid. She still lets me go out & party every once in awhile, & she watches Anthony while I'm at school. I can't express how thankful I am for having her as a wonderful mother & friend & I thank God every day for making her my mommy.
My fiance Jake, whom I've been with for 2 1/2 years is one of the best things that's happened to me. We met when I was 14 & a freshman & he was 17 & a senior. We started dating soon after we met & knew right away we were in love. Jake has helped me so much, & I could never show how thankful I am.
When me & Jake first started dating I was a wreck. I was failing every class in school & partied way too much. School was defiantly not my first priority. I was in a new school, with new friends & new drugs all around me... Fortunately I stuck to one one. I had lost almost every one of my friends from middle school & usually hung out with the older kids or my older brothers. As hard as it is for me to say this, my brothers had a big impact on my drug use. My brothers, especially Daniel who is 4 years older then me, has always been my biggest role model. I've always looked up to him & wanted to be just like him. I knew he smoked, so I did. I knew he did bad in school, so I did. Daniel has always been my best friend, and still to this day is. They are the ones who got me to start smoking, but once I started I didn't stop. I had just got out of a crappy relationship, it was good for awhile & then turned bad. I was in love. He was my first, & I swore he'd be my only. we were together a few months shy of a year but we were really in love. Then one night in September of 2005 he told me we couldn't be together, he liked one of my friends & it just couldn't work between us. I was devastated & took 20 Tylenol. The next thing I knew I was up in the middle of the night throwing up, & then I woke up in the morning pale as ever & sicker then a dog. I went to school & acted as if nothing happened. Fortunately my friend on the bus noticed I couldn't stay awake & I looked really ill. I told her that I had over dosed on Tylenol & I literally felt like I was dying. We went & told a teacher & immediately had an ambulance at school. I can remember one of the paramedics saying "you're such a beautiful girl, why?" I went to the hospital & was told I had liver damage. I was also told I had a chance of not making it. I stayed in Albany Medical Center for 5 days & got transferred to Ellis Hospital for 5 days. By some miracle I made it out alive & healthy. But after that, I smoked every day, sometimes more then once a day, and had made weed the biggest part of my life. That's all I cared about & nothing else. Then Jake came around in December of 2005. At first he didn't care that I smoked, because it was only with my brothers & he knew I wouldn't get in trouble or anything. But after going to my brothers every single weekend to smoke, instead of spending time with him, he got sick of it. I wasn't myself when I was high, & I got a kick out of arguing. After a few months Jake told me I had to choose, having the time of my life every weekend with my brothers while being stoned out of my mind for days strait at a time, or him. As sad as it is, I didn't know what I wanted. I was so used to partying all the time, & I loved it. & Jake was just my boyfriend, we had only been together a few months.. I didn't figure we would last anyway. I was so used to being screwed over, I figured he'd do the same. I tried quitting a few times but I loved it too much. Although people say you can't be addicted to marijuana, being an old user, I can honestly say I was an addict. If I didn't smoke for a day I felt depressed & tired, then I would smoke & I was happy as ever.
Finally, I don't know what happened, I guess Jake had convinced me he loved me & I was going down the wrong path. I decided to give up marijuana & be with him. I have now been sober for about 2 years & I don't miss it. I still didn't do good in school, & didn't care. Then in October of 2006 I found out I was pregnant. Immediately I got my grades up to mid-8Os's & Anthony was born in July of 2007. Anthony saved my life. School was a joke to me & I swore I didn't need it. When I found out I was pregnant with him I decided to step up & take responsibility. The first step was to get my grades up, so not only can I support & spoil him, but I can be a role model as well. Since then I've passed all my classes, & haven't gotten in trouble at all.
Anthony has made me mature & look at everything different. Although I had him young, & didn't give myself a chance to be a kid. I wouldn't change it for anything. He's the cutest little boy I've ever seen, & he's a great baby, not to mention a mama's boy! His smile never fails to brighten my day, no matter how bad it's been. & thanks to my mom, I've still been able to be a kid. She still lets me go out & party every once in awhile, & she watches Anthony while I'm at school. I can't express how thankful I am for having her as a wonderful mother & friend & I thank God every day for making her my mommy.
Jake & Anthony swimming a few weeks ago.
My Mama & Anthony when he was just born <3
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