I have been a smoker since I was 14. I quit for 9 months while I was pregnant & started back up again about 10 months ago. My mom & Dad don't have too much of a problem with it, they don't like it but they allow it.. As long as I go outside to smoke. I have always loved my cigarettes, I don't know what it is about them I have just always really enjoyed them. Which is why it was so hard for me not to start back up after Anthony was born. However, I have made a promise to Jake, my Mom & Dad that I will quit in September when school starts back up. This sounds ridiculous to everyone to wait until then. Why not just quit now? I think it would be allot easier to quit when I am a senior in school, & very busy. Right now it's summer & I'm home all day & outside. So I think it would be harder to quit now. I am not looking forward to this one bit, & am really hoping I can keep this promise. It's going to be very difficult but I guess it's just something I have to do.I have recently noticed allot of people giving me dirty looks when they see that I am smoking, especially older people. Allot of people that know me think it's scummy, or "not right" that I smoke because I have a kid now. But the way I look at it is, how is it harming him if I don't smoke around him? & I wash my hands after every cigarette so he doesn't have to smell it. I also have promised myself since I started back up that I would quit before Anthony got old enough to realize what it is. Hoping if mom & dad don't smoke, he won't want to either. I don't see the harm in it.
I think allot of the reason I enjoy smoking so much is just the 5 minute break I get to relax & be by myself. I love the quiet time & it kinda gives me an excuse to get away for a minute.
Anyway the whole point of posting this blog was because I don't understand why it's such a big deal that I smoke cigarettes when I have a kid, if I'm no wheres near him when I do...? Does anyone else think I'm being "immature" or a "bad parent" because of this??
1 comment:
Four years ago I realized that many foods (especially wheat and dairy) and coffee were crippling my life. Without any notice I had to give up all three. I was shocked that coffee ended up being the hardest to give up. Like cigarettes, I think we develop a relationship with it. We can do it with friends or enjoy it alone, we smell it, and mostly we crave it. Whenever we walked into a coffee shop I would tear up. I missed coffee so much. Sounds silly, but it is true. Now that I have been away from coffee for four years (except occassionally) I can feel what it was doing to my body. It is a toxin for my body.
I think you are making a good step in first figuring out the reasons to stop. I think sometimes it isn't about what we are doing to our children, but deciding what type of mother we want to be. I know some people would think, "Coffee?? Big deal." But it was crippling my life and it had to be eliminated so that I could be the type of mother I want to be. Only you can decide if smoking is "bad". It sounds like you have wonderful mothering qualities to even be considering doing this for Anthony. Good luck.
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